Time: An unusually warm fall evening. It is about 7:30 pm.

Scene: This scene takes place at the most inauthentic Italian chain restaurant, Romano’s Macaroni Grill. The restaurant is dimly lit and looks much like the Tuscany region in Italy, however without the rich culture and history. The restaurant is crowded with people who want the Italian experience, but do not want to pay the Italian price. This scene focuses on two artists, a man and a woman, who have been set up on a blind date by mutual friends. They are meeting here for the first time.

Restaurant Host: Hi, how are you? How many in your party today?

Woman (with clear French accent): Hello. I’m actually meeting someone here.

RH: Oh okay, go right in.

Woman: Thank you. (Walks towards the restaurant tables)

As she approaches the tables she is overwhelmed by the noise of screaming children and the crowded tables. She soon notices one lone male at a table cutting up his menu with a pocket knife. She approaches him.

Woman: Excuse me. Hi. I don’t suppose you’re waiting for someone.

Man: (Looks up with mischievous grin) Yes. I suppose you’re the lovely woman I’ve been waiting for. You’re late, but hello, I’m Tristan Tzara. And you?

Woman: Right. Nice to meet you Tristan. I’m Louise Bourgeois.

Tristan Tzara: Great. Take a seat.

Louise Bourgeois: (sits) This is new to me I’ve never really been on a blind date. Have you?

TT: (pause) Sure.

LB: What? So yes?

TT: No. Don’t you love how awkward blind dates are?

LB: (annoyed) I wouldn’t know I’ve never been on one. Anyways, I noticed you were cutting up your menu. May I ask why?

TT: Because the waiter has not come by with the crayons I requested twenty minutes ago. Besides this is the way you write poetry! You cut out words, place them in a bag, shake gently, and pull them out one by one. Then you copy conscientiously in the order in which they left the bag. Volia! The poem will resemble you and you have come up with an original poem! [To Make a Dadist Poem]

LB: I’m guessing your occupation is that of a poet?

TT: Oh, I’m many things! (winks) But most of the time I’m an artist and all around genius. Surely, you have read my Dada Manifesto?! Have you heard of Dada?! It’s an art movement that I am a very proud member of and a leader I should say.

LB: No. Well, I suppose I’ve heard rumblings of such a group. But an artist-

TT: (cuts off Louise) Here have a copy! (Pulls out paper work from coat pocket) It is some of my best work. You MUST read it. It’ll change you. That is if you were an artist, but surely you’re not so it might be hard for you to understand. What did you say you did?

LB: (obviously irritated pushes away the papers) I didn’t say. I am an artist as well.

TT: (disappointed) Oh. Well then, surely you must read my manifesto then!

LB: (firmly) No, I’m quite fine.

TT: Fine. But you’re missing out on genius work. Anyways, what kind of work do you do?

LB: I paint, draw, and sculpt.

TT: Hm. Interesting. And your work deals with what exactly?

LB: My work deals with “the subject of pain”. I try to “give meaning and shape to frustration and suffering” [NY Times].

TT: So Freudian shit? I don’t believe in that crap.

LB: No, not exactly. The purpose of my pieces are to express emotions. But in fact, I wrote an essay on Freud and-

TT: (Cuts off Louise) You write, huh? How much of your writing plays into your work?

LB: Well, I have a few pieces from the forties and nineties that have incorporated some kind of narrative. He Disappeared Into Complete Silence and Ode A La Bièvre are two of my pieces with some narrative. The narrative is important, but really it is about the emotion that you get from this narrative and how you correlate that with the drawings that accompany the words. The words merely just give insight into the feelings I have about men and women. My piece Seamstress Mistress Distress Stress is all language, but these words evoke emotions. But really, “I am dealing with an emotion that I want to give a form,” [Louise Bourgeois Drawings and Sculptures]. In my sculptures I very much try to do this. And “sculpture allows me a relationship to my body that drawing does not. I can act out in real space,” [Louise Bourgeois Drawings and Sculptures]. Like my e spider sculpture Maman. There I tried to evoke the sentiments towards my mother and all without language. Language does play a part, but is just a form in which I can express emotion.

TT: All very interesting. Sounds like “art is a private affair for you and something you produce for yourself,” [Dada Manifesto]. I think that’s what I do with my work, but narrative is number one to me! You must make words explode off the page!

LB: Well, the first part is right.

TT: But really, let’s stop talking about work and get on with this date!

LB: I don’t think so. I think I’ve had enough for one night. (Gets up to leave)

TT: But we were about to let words explode off these tablecloths as soon as that damn waiter brings those crayons around!