Stand back, ladies and gentlemen. What you are about to see is a spectacle--a spectacle of self-destruction and acute lack of foresight. This is what it looks like to bite the hand that feeds, to shit where you eat. This is the fruit of our labor, borne on the branches of a billowing cloud of toxins and oil, exhaling its noxious breath into the ocean. Behold, on the television screen, a beautiful myriad of pipes and machinery, a symbol of the vigor of man, splintered apart by the devastating powers of greed and dependence.

But worry not, this problem will be solved. Pay no attention to the empty rhetoric of political pundits, or so-called “experts in the field.” Allow yourself to feel that natural momentary rush of anger, but let it fade with the headlines as they dim and recede behind more immediate stories of violence and war. Distance yourself from the technological confusions of the situation--the impersonal statistics, confusing jargon, and indecipherable code; let the professionals shoulder that burden. Make yourself blind to the utter lack of life and disturbingly barren landscape surrounding the site. Don’t embark upon the futile manhunt for culpability or truth. There is nothing for you to do but place your blind faith in our promises and rest assured that we are doing everything in our power to stem the flow of this disaster.

Breathe a sigh of relief as we slowly lull you back into a sleepy state of apathetic bliss and oil addiction.